From a young age, I have always loved motorcycles.

The look, sound, smells and vibrations all spoke to me on a primitive level. From cutting out MotoGP pictures from magazines to riding pillion with my dad thru Lantana owned back roads, something has attracted me.

It still stuns me that I didn’t buy my first bike until I was 25... well stuns isn’t the right word, being a kid who thought he could be the next Valentino Rossi right until the age of fear and self doubt kicked in, I pussed out about 12. The fear of getting seriously injured or killed on the road held back my motorcycling life til Dave, my best friend, confidant and mentor decided it was time to get our bike licenses.

I was about 20 – 22 at the time and his suggestion hit me in 2 ways, first and foremost in my mind was the fear, that nagging voice of self doubt that holds us back from doing things that are fun and exciting. In my short lifespan on this insignificant little blue-green planetoid I have realized that the line between fear and bravery is about as thin as a skin cell and 9 times out of ten you have to tell that nagging cunt to “GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

The second thought came on slowly at first, from a whisper to a scream as the plan was fleshed out. “Do it you pussy, don’t be a little bitch.” My initial hesitations planned a seed of doubt in Dave’s head until one day, a year or 2 later, he turned to me and said “I booked us in for our Stay Up Rite’s”

That was it, pussy boy or not, I was going to the Pre Learners course. For those playing the home game, A Pre Learner course is a 2 day session that teaches you how to ride a motor bike and weed out those who just can’t hack it. The problem with the last part of the plan is that you have to not only crash the bike but shove the fucking thing up the instructor’s ass before you fail it.

Not only did some clown crash the bike and break the roll bar, but the fucker passed. What the fuck? If this asshole can crash going less than 20KPH and break the frame AND STILL PASS what faith can you put in the system?? In saying that, the courses are a god send for those who take riding seriously and want to “get out there and get amongst it” this ass-clown didn’t take it seriously and had a case of gravel rash to prove it.